Well I really must like pain dissapointment and rejection..... why you ask? because I had succeeded in convincing myself again that I was in the running for someone.... for more than friendship.
Things had beeen going so well..... so smoothly and nicely. Lots of bantering, lots of jokes and laughter and all that.... but then he tells me that he is booked in for speeddating on the weekend..... he is gonna spend $50 to meet 15-20 women and thinks that he should have a fairly good chance of meeting at least one person with whom there i s a mutual connection......
And what do i do... I sit there and make a joke.... tell him good luck while I am secretly hoping that all the women who he likes don't like him and vice versa. (which is a really mean thing to think????)
I want to be happy, i want to be in love, and have someone to do things with, to make plans with and just to not be on my own.... but i don't like rejection and that is why i dont want to go to speed dating or even the websites etc because i would be crushed if i didn't find anyone that was interested in me.
I guess there is the other side to this that i don't think there is all that much about me that is interesting, or that would interest someone.
I am overweight, have PCOS (which includes the excess hair crap), socially awekward when i don't know people, tend to be sarcastic, teasing etc. Would love to be an outdoors/active person but am not.
what else can i say ..............................................any idea gratefully accepted!!
No comments:
Post a Comment