Weekend madness

I was intending on having a massive blogging session tonight but I am just toooooooo tired... so instead this is my weekend in pictures with a few captions for good measure....

Clearance ($123.....$100 off) 

$16... half price .. no more burnt rice.

A couple of hours shopping ended up with a couple of new purchases for the kitchen and the wardrobe making use of my tax return money before it all just disappeared into the ethos. Mix master has already been used twice... (see below)

Target dress in a rich purple

then in target I picked up this dress for a night out or just for summer for $50 though I will need to stitch the front part to stop the cleavage from spilling out...
And these shoes for $5!!!! from the clearance section so that I will have something nice to wear on my one non plastered foot over summer! Oh and they look good with the dress!

Onward to food shopping  and so my fridge is like tetris .. and the cupboards barely shut..!!! for the next 2 weeks anyway!

After shopping I picked up the two extras for the weekend and because we were heading out to the football today we made a cake to take with us. with of course the obligatory beater and spatula licking in the end...


 But Yummmm it looked so good when cooked....

Add my LM back this morning after a night at his dads... and then we have 3 kids licking the beaters after the cake was successfully frosted!








Onwards to the football Tigers V Melbourne at Leichhardt Oval, and I had 2 kiddies that had no idea why we were there other than to eat the feast of a picnic I had brought, chicken salad bread, cherries, strawberries, doughnuts, homus and rice crackers  and of course Chocolate cake...



And of course wave the big finger around... and run like nuts


But by the end of the afternoon they were as excited as I was the the Tigers had won... and are now sitting second on the ladder for anyone that is interested..

A couple of  goes around the round about before heading back to the car and taking 30mins to get home (usually a 3-5min drive)

Back home I made spaghetti Bol for the kiddies for dinner and used the opportunity of the eating (yes again) to use the leftovers for a lasagne for tomorrow night..

Had some dinner myself and then while Little A was waching Toy Story2 and I was having a well deserved sit down... they boys were upstairs designing and building Lego contraptions.

And so another weekend is over... And I need to get to bed before the next week is here before I have slept....
Till tomorrow xoxo

Raglan Guld: News FLASH!!!

Raglan Guld: News FLASH!!!

Oh and heres another one! though not sure if my sewing and cutting skills are up to this one!

Twenty minute Simple Skirt Tutorial AND GIVEAWAY!!!!

Twenty minute Simple Skirt Tutorial AND GIVEAWAY!!!!

Love this... and will need some simple skirts again this summer because of this stupid foot and plaster... might just get onto that!

Any cures for bad luck???

from here

My luck has still yet to change.

After having planned to head to the Sunny Mummy meet up yesterday I got myself up dressed and prettied all in time to get will to school and then was heading over to Glenorie.

Unfortunately that was not to be! I got out to the car only to find that overnight some fool (insert stronger expletive!) had smashed the back window of my car!.

Cue anger and then tears and that was before I even realised what was missing. I called the police and made a report, waiting for them to come I realised I still had to get my LM to school. Thankfully a friend was still in the area before her going to work, and picked him up and took him but of course my plans for the day were totally dead!.

A phone call to NRMA about insurance only to find out that I didn't have the "extra" of glass insurance and any claim would be $600 excess! NO WAY!

Another call to O'Briens and I found out that having them come and repair the window would be $458...Again NO WAY!

I grew up in the country where the first quote was never the best and that car wreckers were the best option. so onto the phone again I went calling around looking for the window thinking it was going to be my weekend project. I found a few and they were $77 and $110 for the window... Now that is more like it ! then I hit the jackpot.......Longwreck wreckers  in Smithfield.... $60 for the glass and they put it in for $50..

So it took an hour and a bit, and they are half an hour from home... but ... saving over $300 to get the same result! O'Briens is just a total rip off.


So the police came and took the report, and the forensic guy came for fingerprints ( no luck) and off I went to Smithfield to get the window done.

Back home again I thought I would ask around and see if anyone heard anything, and I spoke to one of the neighbours in the complex and found out that my house, and carspace had been targeted previously when the past tenants had been here. She remembered at least 3 occasions which does not fill me with confidence at all. So today I am off to buy one of those kids door alarm things. the police have suggested that anything that turns on or makes a noise is a deterrent...  I really hope it works.....

Toss it out!

Well it might be Thursday and four days since I last posted but I have been trying to stay awake most of the time and not wanting to say anything that I wil regret.

Last friday I found out that my house was up for sale, after getting some advise I found out basically I have no choice but to allow them to take photos, to allow them "reasonable" access to the property for inspection/viewings.... and that the tenancy policy's are very unspecific in regard to what reasonable actually is.

So I agreed to the photographer coming aslong as they were supervised, and I didn't have to be there, and that we got final say on the pics that were used.
I don't like my chances as I ended up being here for the pics.. and the real estate agent that is assigned to the auction is very cleaver at telling us what we want to hear without actually having to agree to anything. So I am still stuck with having to "pretty" the house when they want to view it.

On top of all that I am still coming to terms with what I will need to do to make the house livable whilst I am in plaster after surgery in October, and after 10 years of being on happy pills I have weaned me off them..... so the moods are a little less than happy at the moment.

Today I took myself back to bed (well the couch) for a couple of hours after dragging myself out of bed to get the LM to school, then I dragged myself off the couch to get back to the school to help with the Drama Club, then some shopping for gifts for the coach etc oh my sons Football team, back to the school for pickup and off to Swimming, and then back home and had one of the LM's school friends over for dinner and a play.

Keeping busy is the only way to stay awake a the moment during the day.... and then at night I can't get myself to sleep... At least I am catching up on some reading..

On the bedside at the moment is Succubus Blues By Richelle Mead. Not as gripping as the Vampire Academy series but still pretty good.

So you might be wondering why the heading... "toss it out" well I am trying to toss lots of stuff this week, the bills, the bad luck and the anger just to name a few!

Will try and keep blogging... it is supposed to help with the sanity afterall!

pics 
http://www.rhdubbo.com.au/selling.htm
http://medicineforpanicattacks.com/effexor-online.php
http://www.richellemead.com/books/succubusblues.htm

Weekend Wonderment

Oh what a weekend it has been!
It all started on Friday afternoon, I found out that, after moving into this place 6 weeks ago the owner has decided to sell... what that means for me I am not sure... more about that later.

Friday late afternoon was football training followed by a quick change of clothes for the LM before a kids disco party at Glitter Kids. Oh and boy there was glitter, I was surprised when the drains were not clogged when he showered after coming home.

Saturday started very EARLY. Let me tell you I am not an early morning person so having to get up so the LM would be ready for pick up at 6.45 for football. I was very lucky that another of the teams parents could take the LM to the game as his DD decided that he HAD to vote at 8am which meant be couldn't possibly take him to the field even though he committed to taking him.

I had made arrangements to have my first Journal selling market stall yesterday and while I could have gone later in the day and dropped will to the game I didn't want to risk the sales. Money is so tight at the moment that I really wanted to get some sales and cash into the "funny money" kitty so that Will and I could do some things before I end up back in surgery again. That and the fact my sisters wedding is happening in October and is costing me miles more than i thought possible.

BUT.... In the end I had a great day... Took 36 books with me and sold 17 which was good I think. It was strange that some I thought would sell are still here and others I didn't really think were good enough flew off the table.
Ended up easily covering my costs for the day (table hire and stall spot) and also bought a few things at the market, thai for dinner and still came in with enough funny money for Will and I to do something fun next weekend.

TODAY we had a total jammies day. Neither of us got out of out jammies until after 6pm and that was only to shower/bath and get in another pair.
We had GF pancakes for brunch, rice crackers and smoked salmon dip for afternoon tea and left-over thai (for me ) and Left-over pancakes (for the LM) for dinner... oh and of course copious cups of tea.

I have caught up on bloggs, watch some TV, made up a contact tab for my Facebook page (Final Eternity Designs) read some of my current book "the last song" for the book club, and watched the LM play some  games on the computer and watch his favourite team play on TV.

I am amazed by his concentration some times. I barely heard a word from him while he was concentrating on Bloons 5, and then sometimes he would burst out into song. There was one about being in Year 2, then of course there was the Chanting to the Tigers hoping they would win against his DD's team the Eels.... Which of course they did!

His little tongue darts out from his mouth when something is difficult, or when he is really trying to get his team across the line. Sometimes it really does help to just stop and watch him somedays.

never rains but it pours

Well......
as some know, this time last year I was planning my first ever holiday, overseas, on my own. Thanks to my Rudd and his stimulus package, and a lovely tax return I had just enough to go over and have some fun. Saying I was apprehensive  would be an understatement but I was also excited to be going, and being away from my little man was going to be a hard but much needed break.

So skip ahead... October I flew out, full of trepidation and excitement. I had a wonderful 8 day tour around the north with a great Tour company, Intrepid Travel, then I took the figurative leap and headed down to Phuket on my own to do some day tours, and relax..... This was where it all started to unravel.

Traveling on your own in a foreign country is not as much fun as I thought. I figured I would meet up with people, organise to go out that night etc etc, but that's not what happened. Each tour I did I would find someone or a few some one's to chat to, cos that the person I am .. but ..... then disaster struck.

I was on a day Canoing tour around James bond Island and a few others. After stopping at one island and having a magical canoe (powered of course by a lovely Thai man) through bat caves and into a mangrove lagoon. Then back to the Ferry and onto our next stop, the famous James bond island, which you don't actually go on .. you can just see.

After some touristy buying overpriced items at the markets, back onto the ferry and we headed for our last stop for the day which gave us free time to have a lay on the beach, swim or use the canoes.

I was the only one on the tour who was not a couple or group and so the tour leader asked me if i wanted to go for a walk through the caves, which of course i took the opportunity.
On the way through to the internal lagoon we squeezed through a few small areas... not a big deal and seeing the empty lagoon was interesting , though a little bit of a let down since there was no water because it was low tide.

On the way back out the guide suggested we go a different way to avoid the squeezing, to which i agreed, unfortunately, in hindsight the squeezing was a much better option.
We came to a hole in the floor, which basically covered the whole floor except two narrow ledges near the walls. Remembering of course that I was in a cave, there were hand holds and crevices in the wall so I thought... yeah i can do that... the guide went first... and got across ... then it was my turn..........one step... two step,..... three....FALLLL!!!!

About 3 metres down i landed on my feet in the next level and crumpled to the ground. I was in pain but was hoping for a sprain, jar, twist etc... I wasn't so lucky.

The guide came down and tried to get me to stand which I couldn't do. so he went to make sure there was another way out of the cave before coming back to me with another of the canoe paddling locals. who then tried to help me hop out of the cave, again that didn't work as the ceiling was too low.

So imagine this, rocks, shells, thick mud... lining the floor of a cave who's ceiling was barely tall enough for me to stand and no wider than 2 people, and I had no way of knowing what I had done to myself, but I knew I couldn't walk. I went into survival mode... get out of cave before tide came in ... I used my left heal, and my hands and bum to craw crawl sideways out of the cave, about 200 hundred metres and who knows how long a time later we arrived at sunshine and the beach. 4 or five thai boys then came and picked me up, but me in a canoe and rowed me back over to the ferry. Getting out of a inflatable canoe on choppy water and "hopping" up a 4 rung steel ladder was no mean feat but finally got onto the back of the ferry  where they gave me panadol... (WTF!) and iced my right foot. No one ... least of all me realised that I had damaged my left as well as that is the one I had been using to hop and walk on.

I made some frantic phone calls to 2 friends who are seasoned travellers, no knowing what to do, which hospital to go to, insurance to use blah blah blah....

45 mins later we were at the jetty and I had another interesting time getting off the ferry onto the wharf, into a private car and another 45 mins drive to Phuket International Hospital. Where I was looked after very well for the next 2 days or what I can remember of it. Thai drugs are good!!!! (hehe)

The long and the short of it was that I had broken at least 3 bones in each foot. Xrays were done in Thailand and repeated in Australia when I arrived home (via Business class .... Its gonna be hard to fly economy again)
 and more breaks were found each time. I flew home on the 16th landing in Sydney on Saturday the 17th October.

The Left foot was the least affected with the 5th 4th, 3rd and 2nd metatarsal broken at the head, which made walking uncomfortable but not impossible. Docs in emergency would normally have put it in a cast BUT, The right was no so lucky. a heal fracture explained why I was in so much pain and couldn't put any weight on it.
Camboot on the left and back slab on the right so that I could get around on crutches. That was the alternative I took.

There was also a Lisfranc Fracture, and two small bone fractures on the right and left. I was released from Emergency with papers to take to the RPA fracture clinic
Aussie Docs decided they need to do some exploratory surgery and xrays to determine if anything needed to be plated or screwed so, 4 days later I was back in the hospital,  in the day surgery waiting area for that for 2 days

Six weeks later I was back at the hospital hoping that it was all over. I had had lovely friends picking Little Man up and taking him to school and back home again. having him over for play dates and also helping me out. A home care worker coming in 2 days a week for a couple of hours to help with cleaning cooking etc, but I was really over it and wanted it to be over... that was not to be.

Another set of xrays taken and they found that all was not well. I had a bone poking out my instep side of my foot (the navicular) which shouldn't have been there... So back into surgery I went in early December to have it Pin and plated into place. Back into a cast! so Christmas and New Year were spent out in Eugowra with my Parents and the Little Man. He had a great time decorating my plaster cast each day with a new picture.

reindeer

Back to Syd in January and things looked good on the Xrays, the plates were staying in for another 2 months but I could begin putting some weight through it, which was great. the plaster came off and the Cam boot now found a use on the right foot. No home help this time and it was holidays but somehow we got through it. February came and School was back and again friends picked up the slack and helped out with getting LM to school and back.

Then end of February I could start wearing normal shoes again, I was allowed to drive ... short distances... and I felt like a while person again..... we could get out and do things. Back into surgery to get the plate out and all of a sudden i was able to walk so much better... there was still discomfort but it felt great!. BUT still it was not over. Physio started and didn't progress as well as they expected... more xrays and the found the bone just hadn't returned to quite the right place which was putting the balance and bones of the foot out of place.

NOW WHAT!!!! The specialist was reluctant to do more surgery straight away, so he said lets wait another 3 months and then review it, maybe it will settle on its own.... that was not to be...

And that takes us up to the present day almost.. yesterday was the three month review... there is still pain, still swelling and still discomfort. So back into surgery I go in October (I requested after my sisters wedding since I am a bridesmaid).
They are going to fuse three bones together (the navicular with the two either side) in an attempt to put it back in place, raise my arch again and stop the pain. After removing the cartilage from around those bones they will score the ends of the bones to make them think they are broken and also use a bone graft from my shin to promote bone growth and healing.

I am soooooo over it..... on the funny side... I have just moved into a house with 2 storeys which is going to make things interesting, though on the upside it has a good driveway and a carport out near the front door so i can hire and old lady electric buggy and possible get around on that...

Bad side I will be in plaster for 3 months again. all over summer again.... all over xmas and New years and my birthday again!!!!!
Good side I will get to keep my disabled parking permit for another 12 months,
Bad side it is another 6-12 months of Physio and not working.
Good side.. I will have more time to make journals
BAD side I can't get anywhere to sell them.

SOOOOO I am trying to work out how I can stay in Sydney and not have to live with my parents as that is really not a great option, aside from the fact I would have to change wills Schools, I would also be really isolated and away from friends being 5 hours from Sydney and William would also loose contact with his Father for that period of time too.

So I need to work out what options are out there for us... and what help I can get.

DAMN IT!!! I really was hoping this was all behind me.... a 16 day holiday has lasted over a year though... maybe I should look at that side of the coin.

not so sunny

Not really sure what's going on today but I am feeling really sad.

Have had a weird day, emails going back and forth with Wills father about fathers day. I assumed he would make the effort to try and see him on the day, since it is the first in 4 years that they would have spent together, BUT his reply to my asking was that he felt the routine of Saturday was the most important thing, so then I had to go into the reasons why I think that seeing him out of routine was more important... I feel like I am begging him to see his own son which is just dumb, but I didn't want a sad boy on my hands all day Fathers Day. It was hard enough when his dad wasn't around, I think Will would feel very dejected if his Dad made no effort at all... even though he would have seen him on the Saturday I just don't think it is the same.

WHAT DO YOU THINK? Am I overreacting?

Also I have the parent teacher interview tomorrow morning and "Dad" is coming to that too to get some more ideas of what Wills behaviour has been like at school and what strategies his teacher is implementing.

AND then I have my specialist appointment about my foot and while I think there has been some improvement there is also still a lot of pain randomly.... and that concerns me.

Ahhhhh life is just never smooth and easy.... i really hope the clear sailing starts soon.

How strange... defriending ???...... And crafting on!

Ok I am now a little confused...
What would make a person want to befriend you on FB after 15 years, have 2 discussions with you, make you promise to keep in touch... then defriend you?? (You can read more about it here blast from the past)

If you can answer me that question.... Well I don't know what I would give you but it would be something.

Oh well his loss I guess...

That being said I have finally stated my books up again... I am covering blank books to be used a journals, scrap book, baby albums etc., you name it there is one here that you can use. Initially it was all reuse materials, but now I have succumbed to buying some new things because unfortunately there is some really cute new fabric around that just screams to be used.

This one I made last night has a very sweet and vintage feel, while another would be perfect for a baby album or scrap book. I'm putting them all up on my FaceBook page, Final eternity Designs, for people to buy from but  I am also heading to my first markets this Saturday at Yeo Park school near Hurlstone Park, who are having an election day stall and markets. Trying to make at least another 10 this week and maybe some bookmarks too so that I will have 40 books on display for sale... At the moment I would be happy to sell them for just about anything just to have some "funny money" for the week.

I am really enjoying it and have taught myself some embroidery stitches which are fun to do. I don't profess to be professional but I think they are adequate, and every book is one of a kind.

More later... really have to have lunch and get back to creating xoxox

OK... Maybe Im bored

Or Maybe I am strange....

I feel the need to share again... after cooking all afternoon I need to prove that I have... Food is one of those things that really annoy me.... I know we need it... and sometimes we just want it ... and sometimes it screams at us to eat it (as in Oi you... I'm in the cupboard... You know .. I'm the big chocolate bar... Oh come on just eat me... you know you want to... )
BUT what annoys me is that we spend all this time planning, shopping, chopping, cooking, plating up, and eating, and then of course the washing up.... But then its like it never existed... You can't prove it was there... because its in the tummy, digesting and making us what we are.

But yesterday when I went shopping I decided that I was going to go back to basics, and buy things that would end up with multiple meals and today was the start of the big cook and freeze.

I started off with Some bread ... which I have of course tasted and it is delicious.. I will definitely be buying that mix again... unfortunately I forgot to take a picture of it before I broke it up into little buns.


Then I began the soup because I had a pumpkin from last fortnights shop that I didn't end up using. Unfortunately it has started going bad so I lost some of it but there was still enough to make some beautiful soup. So into the pot went the bacon bones (bought specially yesterday) to boil away while I cut up the pumpkin, grated the carrot and in they went. A few herbs and spices and simmer away for a couple of hours, I thought it was going to be way to thin and I didnt' have any skim milk powder which I usually use to thicken soups but then I realised I had arrowroot (tapioca flour) and a couple of teaspoons thickened it up beautifully, a bit more of a simmer to cook the flour and I ended up with 4 serves of smokey bacon and Pumpkin soup.

Next I was thinking about lunch.... so started on a Quiche.... Unfortunately I don't have a quiche pan so I had to multi-use my fry pan. I blind baked in a pizza plate but had to transfer to the fry pan after i had used it to cook the other ingredients which made a but of a mess of the pastry but it will still taste good.
I got GF pastry at Woolworths last fortnight and kept the rest in the freezer.. and it is basically as easy to use as any frozen pastry so that makes life much easier than trying to make pastry.
So into the blind baked pastry went my char-grilled capsicum which I had been keeping in oil in the fridge since I made it but forgot to put it in last weeks quiche, red onion, mushroom, zucchini and ham which had all been partially cooked, then covered with the egg, feta and milk mix and back into the oven till set.. and SO yummy looking.

At the same time as the Quiche was on the go I started on the mince and used the same saucepan because it had all those yummy vegie flavours in it. then the mince went into a saucepan with the sauces i bought yesterday to simmer for a couple of hours. I also added mushrooms and carrots in hope of adding some extra vegies to the diet and its a great place to hide them. Unfortunately I forgot to buy tin tomatoes yesterday so it is a bit thicker than I would normally make it but it still looks great.


I used about half this mix to make a lasagna so then next effort was making GF white sauce. I know that sounds easy really but since GF flour doesn't cook in the same way it takes a bit more careful watching and beating to make it smooth. I can't tell you the number of times I have ended up with lumpy white sauce... (oh and just so you know... never use soy flour for white sauce its gross). So that Will and I can both eat it I use soy milk (Will is lactose intolerant, and I can't eat his full cream lactose free milk), so since there is cheese in it I like using the soy to balance it out. .... In the end we had this.... cooked and ready to freeze... and there is enough white sauce left over and frozen to have with the Silverside one night this week.

In amongst this I ended up making simple pizza for Will and I for lunch.. (at 3pm ops)

so basically it all worked out .. the spag bol got a little burnt because it is so thick and because i can't turn the heat on the stove down low enough (only 2 of 4 burners work and so far the owner hasn't fixed but that's a while other story), and the Quiche stuck to the pan a little but over cooked pastry is definitely better than undercooked when it comes to GF.

Now I have enough food for 8 meals for me (will won't eat the soup or the quiche), and the lasagna and spag bol will do 3 meals each for Will and I. I do however remember in hindsight why i stopped doing big cook ups... I so need a bigger freezer!


Lastly I will share with you this beautiful pic...
See that red stripe on my forehead.... No i didn't burn my head... I did however forget to shut a cupboard door... man am I going to have a bruise tomorrow......

Sunny Saturday/Sunday

I had a lovely day yesterday.. actually got up and stayed up at 9 when Will went off to his dads for the day and night...
Had a lovely breakfast poached eggs and avocado on Rice toast (damn gluten intolerance... but GF bread is good toasted), then made up the shopping list... then took the majority of the day trying to find good bargains at Aldis and Woolworths... but still spent way too much... (Bloody gluten free food).

I also visited a great fabric shop (the Remnant Warehouse in Alexandria) intending to only by some interfacing, But..... this is what I ended up with... I really do hope I sell lots of books next weekend otherwise I am in serious trouble with myself! There's a bag of scraps,spotty remnant rolls, calico for the dolls, and cotton in various colours for the patch working ... a disappearing texta so I can stop using pencil on my work and can do better lettering,and embroidery, and of course the white interfacing.

THEN!!! I got to go and visit the newest addition tot he Nelson family, beautiful and placid 8 day old Grace... I'm afraid to say she was either in a feeding frenzy or will be a Dummy girl... because she spend a good hour sucking my hand/ finger/ and nudging my boobs (definitely not going to get anything out of there!) I tell you so many of my friends are having kids now... If I was going to get clucky I would be now.. they are so cute.. but it all floods back in about when will was a baby, screaming because of reflux, not sleeping, puking everywhere all the time... ... But then there was also the lazy morning sleep-ins, and the sunning ourselves on the back lawn.... first steps, talking and all that.. But still I don't think I would really go back to that sleep deprived state unless I found a man who desperately wanted kids..... and who was willing to help out ... A LOT!!!

Anyway ... back to the sunny days, the cuddles were awesome... P and D are so clever...

I had a lazy night, just on the computer chatting to friends and relaxing... this morning was football... Wills last game for the season, next weekend is a Saturday round robin game so he is with his dad and will go with him to that, and then they have an exhibition game at Leichhardt Oval but today was the last of the early games... YAY!

We came home thinking it would be a nice day for a picnic lunch in the park , and washing on the line, but .... within 5 minutes...

so a lazy day at home it will be....

I'm attempting cooking some bread rolls, (which William just said... "what's that wonderful smell" so hopefully it will taste just as good) and will do some pumpkin and Bacon soup to cook for the afternoon for dinner with some fresh made bread!. I also have the makings for a lasagna and Spaghetti Bolognese so might get them going too... a load of washing in the machine, and then..... Books and dolls for the afternoon....

Sounds like bliss

Blast from the past

Ok I know twice in one day..... but my head is reeling...

Firstly I have to stand up and say.... Hi my name is Kristie and I am a Facebook-aholic..

What did we do without it... How could I every have gotten in touch with someone who I hadn't spoken to in 15 years... Oh that's right.. it wouldn't have happened!!!!

Let me paint the picture for you... I was in year 8 and he was in year 11... and we fell for each other after a very embarrassing incident at a School Disco when a friend set me up by sending her brothers friend over to talk to me... I could go upstairs at this point and pull out my old diary and re-write the occurances of the night but let me tell you simply...
I was painfully shy... I didn't talk to boys, dance with boys or do anything with boys... with the exception of a few ultra close friend in our immediate "group" who I had been friends with since year 7.

So this guy sits next to me and asks me to dance ... and I just about die... I could have killed Liz... and I really wanted an hole to open up and swallow me but eventually we danced and danced all night... he kept coming in for the slow ones and I kept backing off... How I didn't end up against the wall I don't know but I definitely kept him at arms length. After that night and for the next couple of weeks we were together recess and lunch... talking laughing etc etc... I was smitten but then the end of year came, holidays and we lived 30mins away from each other out in the central west where there is no public transport so I called it off... and hated myself for it.

The next year he was with another girl... and I was devastated but eventually I won him back, and we were together again ... inseparable, but now he was in year 12... and was going to be finishing school and I had 3 years to go. It got to the end of the year and his mates were turning 18 and he and GF were invited to a party... So... with the help of a friend who was also seeing a year 12 guy, we went..

I was supposed to be at her home for the weekend but we spent friday night at the party with our respective guys... I was with G all night, chatting and then we slept part of the night at his aunts place... and before you ask... no nothing other than some touchy feely happened (and lots of kissing).

It was amazing, then I went to his Cricket match where he got out on the first bowl (a duck?) before heading back to Trishs for the rest of the weekend.

I thought I had gotten away with it... but two weeks later my mum found out and after a heap of "I'm disappointed's" etc etc I was grounded for a year.... YES A YEAR!!! from the 7th Dec to the 8th dec the next year I was only allowed to go to school events, no sleep overs no parties just school Discos..... (and she stuck to it)

Unfortunately because of my exile and because he had finished school and living so far away we lost touch.. He didn't call and I couldn't so that was the end..
I admit to keeping in touch with what he was doing and found out where he worked... at a news agency... and when we went to town shopping I would force myself in there to see what he would say, but he always ignored me and I was devastated.

he broke my heart........

So Back to Facebook...... I get home last night and I had a friend request... after doing a quick survey and stalkbook to see what he had been up to I thought... what the hell I'll accept... he wont talk to me but I wont feel rude...
BUT no ... tonight ... Facebook chat pops up a message... and we chat... a little of this a little of that...
I mentioned that I found his old letter when i moved a couple of weeks ago and he still has mine... BUT .... Knife through my heart.. he is married and has a daughter.....

So... it was niceish to talk to him.. to catch up ... but having to admit to someone you once thought was your world... that you are a single un-working mother... well that not exactly what I was hoping the conversation was going to be when I imagined it all those years ago.....

But I will say.... it wasn't a horrible conversation Captain Koala... not horrible at all!


UPDATE:.... Later in the night we started chatting again... and apparently us loosing touch was a comedy of errors... he thought I was avoiding him and while he tried to call he would chicken out and hang up if anyone else answered the phone, I send him a card and letter for his birthday and he never got it but I thought he was avoiding me... what might have happened if fate hadn't stepped in and screwed that one up!

Friday the 13th....

Well today is another start for this little blog... Maybe I will keep it up this time!!!

 

I am not generally a superstitious person...  I know the superstitions but don't really follow them.... but .... Friday the 13th... I really should have taken the phone off the hook, disconnected the internet, and stayed in bed!

I am so sick of stress...  It is making me a horrible mother, friend and person in general.Who wants to be around a person who is constantly stressed and embroiled in drama....
I wish I could just hand my bank account and diary over to someone else and let them deal with it and just tell me what to do.

I found out today that because I couldn't work for part of the year, and my income was therefore less, that Williams Child support entitlement is also less.... Why should my income or ability to work or not affect Wills fathers commitment to his child.... Its not like it is going to cost any less to raise him this week than last week, but unless I earn more money (but not too much more because if I earn more than the dad then his requirement also goes down), then "dad" has less financial responsibility, and therefore Will misses out or I have to try and pull the money from somewhere else.

The election and taxes and that range of things too is a complete mess to me.... Do i vote for Gillard or Abbott.... who/what is going to end up costing me more... Gillard's taxes or Abbots workplace relations laws...

So I got paid today.... decided to do the responsible thing and pay the bills and then do groc shopping, and I now have just over $100 to last the fortnight.... How to you explain that to a child... that there is no more dinner out, no Thai takeaway, no treats or special presents because you are so close to the poverty line... Oh and please don't suggest me asking "dad" to help out more... His view is he pays what CSA tell him to and that's it... He won't contribute to school excursions, sporting costs or anything else because that is what Child Support is supposed to cover. My god... $35 a week barely covers his food.... let alone anything else.

So this weeks tasks are

• try and set a budget that I can maybe stick to....
• start really looking for part-time work
• find some cheap bulk buys for meat and veg to try and decrease the grocery bill..

On the upside... maybe I can stop eating all together... that will take care of the loose weight part of my new years resolution and save some money... LOL